Cinta

Well I have not updated in forever but there has been a lot happening, not just with the surrogate thing. Lets start with that, the surrogate thing, Well we did do a transfer and put in one embryo. I had to wait the never ending two weeks then the blood test came around…. the numbers came back high…. Yeah!! So two days later I go back to make sure the number goes up…. it didn’t…. pooh. So the parents wanted to talk to the doctor to see what he thinks. Then they call and say that they would like to me to have a test done. They want to be sure that it isn’t me, which at this point I am starting to have my own doubts. So I am to wait for my next cycle to start and then go in for a HSG (histogram). We wait and wait and wait and wait, finally the doctor calls and wants me to go down to see where I am in my cycle since I have not started. I go down everything is good so they schedule my appointment. I go down again and have the HSG done and then find out …. yep it was me. I have Adenomysis, which is the glands and muscle becoming one.

So needless to say that, that ended my surrogate journey. I was very upset for many reasons. I felt like I let these new parents down. I felt like I wasted their time. I felt SO horrible for my last couple now knowing that I was the reason that they did not have a child already. Thinking of all the money that these couples spent made me sick. so I cried and cried and I called them up and cried some more and even harder as I apologized to them. I still feel bad but both couples were very sweet and so understanding I am glad that I met both the couples.

I also had to deal with the fact that I would not be able to afford my sons school next year and would have to move him. He goes to a private school and has been with the same group of kids since Kindergarten. This also had me crying and feeling ill. He has grown up with the kids in his class and has only known small classes. His class consists of 11 students including him. So this is still up in the air due to the school I would like him to go to has a waiting list.

Then there is the fact that my husbands ex-wife is taking us back to court for MORE child support. Let me just say that she does not work and gets close to 1800.00 a month tax free. That is more than some people working full time making minimum wage bring home.

Not to mention that my husband who is the sole provider (for the most part) right now received his lay off notice. The eliminate his position and they are creating of new position but I don’t know if there will be a break in his pay.

So I am just a little stressed. I know things will get better I just wish they would hurry up. Everything happens for a reason, that’s what people say …. and I believe that to be true, I just wish that explanations came along with those things.

I hope your life is going a little smoother.